I love the Proms…and the best choir in the world competition …and basically anything that has given me respite from the usually punishing TOTP repeats schedule. So just this episode to review on my TOTP holiday before the ‘back to school’ two shows a week cycle starts again.

This week’s presenters are Simon Bates and Peter Powell and it is Bates who starts off with a curious promise to the viewers by stating the show has two No1s this week – a future one and a present one. Eh? What on earth does he mean? Well we will find out….

He’s surely not talking about this pile of crap that starts the show? Brace yourselves as the break dance phenomenon continues with Break Machine and “Break Dance Party”. And yes it is identical to their last hit. Of course it is, they are mining this seam of hit music for all its worth – other wise known as putting-out-any-old-formulaic-shite-as-the-punters-are-so-thick- they-won’t-even-notice. And they didn’t! This steaming heap went all the way to No 9 in the charts and they are still average break dancers at best! There’s some half-hearted back flips, some lack-lustre arm waving, a windmill move, a deadman float and the old chestnut that is “The Worm”. It’s rubbish! And yes I had to look up the names of all those moves  – I have no idea what I am talking about. Still rubbish though.

Oh right – this is the future No1 Simon Bates was on about. “Everyone is tipping it for the top” Peter Powell agrees in the intro – it being “Let’s Hear It For The Boy” by Deniece Williams. This was of course, as with Kenny Loggins’ (snigger) simultaneous hit, from the Footloose movie soundtrack. So the first thing to say about this is “everyone” was wrong it didn’t “go to No 1″” as Simon Bates promised it would at the song’s end. It actually peaked at No 2 on the UK chart (although it was No 1 in the US to be fair). It’s one of those overly joyous songs that no doubt is featured on those “feel good” compilations such as “The Best Album To Do The Housework To Ever” or something.

At the time I found it just a little bit annoying. However, years later I would read Giles Smith’s book “Lost In Music” (which is a great read if you get the chance) and in it he writes about a dark chapter in his life when he was being treated for Hodgkin’s disease. He describes how he constantly played a tape on his Walkman of “Let’s Hear It For The Boy” on his way to and from endless clinics and surgeries and “the way the words snap against the beat!” and its “friendly, life-affirming fizz” helped to improve his mood. So that just goes to show what I know.

By way of contrast….here’s Marillion (which are the exact words that Simon Bates uses to introduce the act after effusing about Deniece Williams. Not a lot of enthusiasm there). Ah Marillion. What to say about Fish and co? Well, by this time I at least knew who they were thanks to previous singles “Garden Party” and “Punch and Judy” but this was a good 12 months before “Kayleigh” ushered in their period of international success. I’ve got to say that although I liked the afore-mentioned “Kayleigh” and follow-up “Lavender” they didn’t really do a lot for me. I remember the song title to this one (“Assassing”) but couldn’t have told you how it went. Now that I’ve heard it again it reminds me of their 1987 hit “Incommunicado” a bit but without the hooky chorus. It’s all a bit over-wrought and was certainly too serious for me in 1984 although I knew people who were really into them. One such guy at school was Stephen who would grow up to be a monk though I don’t think that was a direct consequence of listening to Marillion in his formative years.

Another thing to be said about the band is that they were hardly pin-up material and indeed Fish would be the inspiration behind the lead character in one of my favourite ever books Espedair Street by Iain Banks. Said lead character is one Dan Weir, bass player in rock band Frozen Gold, who’s nickname ‘Weird’ was due to his abnormal height and err… unusual looks. Another book worth a read if you have the time and inclination.  

If you were thinking this blog is turning into an online book club what with two book recommendations already, then we are back to the music with Hazell Dean and “Searchin” next. For a while back there in 1984, Hazell was the high priestess of Hi-NRG. Remember Hi-NRG? That fast tempo dance music with the throbbing pulse that was both popular and synonymous with the gay community? At one time it was so popular that music magazine Record Mirror produced a weekly Hi-NRG chart. Chanteuse Hazell, who had been kicking around the fringes of the Eurovision Song Contest for a few years, suddenly found herself as the mainstream face of the Hi-NRG movement with this little ditty which itself had been doing the rounds for a year or so before this breakthrough. Yes it’s cheesy but it has a certain stomp and swagger to it as well and Hazell gives it her all here complete with a strobe effect breakdown in the middle.

Now then, also “searchin’, lookin’ for love” at this time, and it’s been a while since we checked in with him on this front, was the 15 (nearly 16) year old me. I’ve checked my dates and this programme went out two days before I finally went on a date with a girl! Hold the front page! I kid you not. How had this happened? Well, whilst watching one of the very last Worcester City games before I retired my season ticket, I got talking to a group of girls who were also at the match. I think on reflection they may have been taking the piss out of me but still….one of them was volunteered by her mates as the one who liked me and asked for my phone number. I handed it over, the game finished, I went home and thought nothing more about it.

A week went by, I watched this episode of TOTP on the Thursday night and arranged to go into town on Saturday morning with my mate Alan before coming home to watch the FA Cup final in the afternoon. Amazingly, 10 minutes before I was going to leave the house to meet Alan, the phone went and it was the girl from the football match asking me to meet her down the local park! Obviously I immediately rang Alan and blew him out as I had better things to be doing (don’t look at me like that! He would have done the same to me!). So off I went down the park. Her name was Suzanne and she was a year or so younger than me and she looked like a red headed Kim Wilde (well I thought so). Heaven knows what we talked about but when I got home I felt like a new person, a man of the world, a man who knew things. I confidently predicted Everton would win the cup final (they did 2-0). See, I was suddenly a man, a man of knowledge and substance. For about two weeks, I was obsessed with Suzanne or on reflection the idea of having a girlfriend was more likely what I was obsessed with. It didn’t last long and she ditched me for a bloke who was better looking than me according to her. Still, this was real progress on the romantic front.

OK – that’s quite enough romance for now, what we need know to balance things up is an antidote to love and here it comes…for this is “Love Wars” by Womack And Womack. This is a great song but for a long time I thought the male Womack was Bobby Womack because that was the Womack I had heard of. It wasn’t – it was his brother Cecil and the female in the duo was his wife Linda. Cecil had a massive soul pedigree working with Sam Cooke and touring in the band the Valentinos with James Brown. Linda had an even better background as she was Sam Cooke’s daughter (!) as Simon Bates informs us. Anyway, this song, the title track from their album, is an absolute winner although I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time. There  is a version of it on the Beautiful South’s first album too and that’s great as well. They would return to the charts four years later when I was a student with the catchy but vastly inferior (in my humble opinion) “Teardrops”.

OK – some pompous synth rock next and given that description it can only be Ultravox with “Dancing With Tears In my Eyes”! Actually this is pretty good and would become their second biggest ever hit after “Vienna” reaching No 3 on the Top 40. The song, as was popular at the time, is of course about the nuclear threat and the accompanying video portrays a power plant in meltdown before it explodes wiping out the population including lead Ultravoxer Midge Ure along with his wife and child. In 1984 the Cold War was still a very real, ongoing concern and there was a massive (mushroom?) cloud of despondency and mistrust between the West and the Soviet Union, This state of affairs was reflected in songs such as this one and also Frankie’s “Two Tribes” and even cheeky little Nik Kershaw’s “I Won’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me”. “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes” and especially the video were seen as very affecting and allegorical of the time. Indeed, witness Simon Bates and Peter Powell’s sombre mood after the video has played. As for me, I was probably too busy thinking about girlfriends to fully appreciate it properly but it’s one of their better tunes and they opened with it at Live Aid the following year.

Blimey! This week’s No 1 is still “The Reflex” by Duran Duran. Wasn’t expecting that. OK, so here are the boys one more time…

The play out music this week is “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins meaning that there are two songs from the same film on tonight’s show – possibly the first time that has happened since Grease in 1978? I’m guessing –  I haven’t checked so don’t take my word for it.

For the sake of posterity, I include the chart run down below:

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to have a Footloose party as I can’t find the full programme on YouTube.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b092scmr/top-of-the-pops-17051984

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bed time reading?

http://likepunkneverhappened.blogspot.com/2014/05/may-10-23-1984.html