80s slang vocabulary could be really cringeworthy at times. I’m sure we all have our own personal recollections of phrases or words that we used to say. I certainly said things like skill and ace and of course there was the never to be forgotten phrase chinny reck-ON (usually accompanied with a gesture of beard stroking). Indeed, I’m pretty sure one of tonight’s TOTP presenters Steve Wright was guilty of saying stuff like wacky and zany. However, I never described anything as wicked like tonight’s other co-host Jakki Brambles does.”We are talking a wicked tune” she says as she introduces Double Trouble and the Rebel MC performing “Street Tuff” and there is not a trace of tongue in cheek about her delivery. She means what she says!
So was “Street Tuff” what passed for ‘wicked’ in 1989? Well, it was certainly catchy with its relentless reggae / house hybrid groove which was basically “54-46 That’s My Number” by Toots and the Maytals at high speed. The call and response type chanting that runs throughout it and Rebel MC’s quirky yet quotable lyrics like ‘Rough like a ninja, stinging like a bee’ and ‘Is he a Yankee? No, I’m a Londoner’ all bring the mix to the boil.
Aided by extensive airplay on the likes of Simon Mayo’s Radio 1 Breakfast Show (Mayo loved this record!), “Street Tuff” went all the way to No 3.
And now. One of the most talked about videos of the year….it’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher. This was only Cher’s third chart hit in the UK of the entire decade but a sizeable one peaking at No 6. The lead single from her “Heart Of Stone” album, it was written by hitmaker extraordinaire Diane Warren who had composed “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” for Starship two years earlier.
It was definitely of that soft rock genre complete with chugging guitars and simple melody but nobody cared about that. No, we were all mesmerised by the video or rather what Cher was wearing in the video which seemed to be not much at all. The promo was recorded aboard the USS Missouri with permission for shooting given due to its potential for boosting Navy recruitment. However, the delivered cut of the video was not what had been expected by the Navy who received criticism for allowing the shoot especially from World War II veterans who took umbrage that such a historically significant site should be disrespected – the USS Missouri was the site of the Empire of Japan’s surrender in 1945 thus ending World War II.
Amid the furore, a second video was produced which was heavily edited to remove footage of Cher’s buttock flashing fishnet body stocking outfit which seems to be the version TOTP showed. Shockingly, Cher’s son (who was 12 at the time) appears in the video. The cost of the therapy he must have been through to obliterate the scars of seeing his mother dressed so!
And yet, more shocking than any of the above is the revelation that I think I bought this single! What mental stress must I have been under to resort to such an action? I could have simply omitted this heinous detail from the blog but I am nothing if not honest. Please do not judge me.
Hey, how you’re doin’? Yes, years before Joey from Friends made the phrase famous, Curiosity Killed The Cat pioneered it with their No 14 hit single “Name And Number“. One of the stories of 1987, Ben Volpeliere-Pierrot and chums had been absent from the pop world for two years but some things hadn’t changed when they finally returned. For a start, Ben was still hiding his rumoured male pattern baldness under some trademark head gear and he was also still doing that bendy dancing that he had become known for.
There were some new developments though – they had employed a female vocalist to beef up their sound for this performance and bass player Nick Thorp had grown his hair long ( I was still following such trends even so late in the decade).
Sadly for the band, “Name And Number” proved to be their last hit of the 80s as follow up single “First Place” only made No 86 on the charts. Three years later a truncated version of the group – they had lost Thorp from the line up and reduced their moniker to just Curiosity – somehow recorded their joint biggest ever hit when their version of Johnny Bristol’s “Hang On in There Baby” made No 3.
Billy Joel now with his world history list song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”. The video attempts to show the passage of time in parallel with the song’s chronological list of events and personalities by depicting a young couple getting married, having children, grandchildren etc. All of this is set against a backdrop of the family home which shows the passing fashions of the decades via its decoration. Throughout the video, Billy sits there amongst the protagonists unchanging and unseen. It’s a bit creepy and totally unrealistic – he doesn’t even begin to lose any of his now long gone hair!
The song’s legacy has been its universality for being parodied and appropriated for use in many popular culture settings and TV shows including The Simpsons and Parks And Recreation. I think Family Guy is my favourite though…..
Now I knew that Sonia had more hits than just her debut No 1 “You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You” but I would have been hard pressed to name any of them. It turns out that “Can’t Forget You” (oh the irony) was her follow up single but it only rose as high as No 17 in the UK singles chart. Presumably that was seen as a failure compared to its predecessor by her record label but let’s be fair, given the song’s lack of quality, it was hardly a surprise.
For some reason, Sonia is given the Yazz treatment here where she is allowed her own little spotlight when being introduced much like “The Only Way Is Up” hit maker seemed to be granted the previous year.
Although her No 1 can never be taken away from her (as much as some of us would like to), Sonia’s chart career isn’t that impressive. Yes there are eleven Top 40 singles over the course of four years but only twice did she return to the Top 10 after “You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You” (and then only just – both were No 10 hits). To be honest , she always seemed more like a light entertainment star than a pop star to me but maybe I’m being unfair.
Some Breakers next and we start with Living In A Box who have finally released a track that doesn’t sound exactly the same as all their other songs. “Room In Your Heart” was their big ballad moment and when I say ‘big’, I mean f*****g enormous! Its everything but the kitchen sink production allied to Richard Darbyshire’s almost operatic warbling made for a huge sound. There’s even a choir and a wailing guitar solo chucked in for good measure with a final note fade out which goes on and on and on.
Peaking at No 5, it became their joint biggest hit alongside their titular anthem “Living In A Box”.
The return of Belinda Carlisle next. After her massive global success with her “Heaven On Earth” album nearly two years prior, producing an equally commercially well received follow up was probably not a foregone conclusion for Belinda given that her solo career had started slowly rather than spectacularly (certainly in the UK) back in 1986.
“Leave A Light On” was the first single from that follow up album entitled “Runaway Horses” and was a solid Top 10 hit around Europe (No 4 in the UK). Featuring George Harrison on slide guitar (maybe the record label thought some stellar collaborations on the album might improve its chances), it didn’t deviate too much from the “Heaven On Earth” formula.
Whilst not as successful as its predecessor, “Runaway Horses” was still a sizeable hit going platinum in the UK and spawning six singles. However, apart from “Leave A Light On” and bizarrely the final single to be lifted from it (the No 6 hit “(We Want) The Same Thing”) the other singles were relatively small hits with none of them making the Top 20.
When I first started working at Our Price in Manchester just over a year later, there was a huge poster of the album sleeve on the wall of the kitchen area. Some wag had drawn a thought bubble on it coming from Belinda’s head with the words ‘Hmm…did I leave a light on?’ scrawled in it. The wet behind the ears new recruit that I was found it highly amusing.
Ah Milli Vanilli – what’s not to like? Well, pretty much everything I guess seeing as they were a sham and didn’t sing on any of their records which were all pretty cruddy in the first place. “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You” was a US No 1 song (their third on the trot over there) but we hadn’t seen much of them since “Girl You Know It’s True” twelve months prior. What was it with them and songs that began with the word ‘girl’? This one was a monumental dirge to my ears and I could not fathom how it managed to make it to No 2 in our charts.
The whole lip synching debacle hadn’t really surfaced by this point but by the end of the year rumours were circulating and the storm was well and truly brewing.
Possibly one of their least remembered hits, “Chocolate Box” was the second Craig-less hit for the now duo Bros. I certainly couldn’t have told you how it went before re-hearing it on this TOTP repeat.
In their documentary When The Screaming Stops, there’s a clip where Matt and Luke are discussing the set list for their upcoming reunion gig with their manager. “Chocolate Box” is mentioned as being out of the set list as things stood at which point Luke says that he never liked it anyway. Matt responds that a lot of the fans do love it though and that it is one of their favourite Bros songs.
“Chocolate Box” was permanently dropped from the set list and not performed at the gig which I think says it all about the song’s quality and legacy. It peaked at No 9 in the UK, their worst chart position since they became huge stars nearly two years prior.
Top 10
10. Madonna – “Cherish”
9. Bros – “Chocolate Box”
8. The Beautiful South – “You Keep It All In”
7. Tina Turner – “The Best”
6. Wet Wet Wet – “Sweet Surrender”
5. Richard Marx – “Right Here Waiting”
4. Erasure – “Drama!”
3. Sydney Youngblood – “If Only I Could”
2. Technotronic – “Pump Up The Jam”
1. Black Box – “Ride On Time”: Week number 5 at the pinnacle of the charts so what else is there left to say about it? OK – how about this…apparently the DJ guys in Black Box were asked to produce an album for Duran Duran but they declined as Le Bon and co had been the biggest band of the decade whilst they had only just learned to use a sampler so they didn’t think they were worthy of being asked!
Just before we play out with S’Express and “Mantra For A State Of Mind”, mention must be made of Steve Wright before we go. Not just because this was his 56th and final TOTP appearance (and thank f**k for that I say) but also to stare in horror at the ponytail that he had adopted for the occasion. At the show’s end, I was struggling to see what that was that he was twirling around in his hand. Was it a glove? When I looked closer it was the bloody ponytail. It had been a fake all along. What a laugh he was right to the end! OK Steve, thanks for all the memories. Now, f**k off over there and when you get there f**k off some more.
| Order of appearance | Artist | Song | Did I Buy it? |
| 1 | Double Trouble and the Rebel MC | Street Tuff | Nah |
| 2 | Cher | If I Could Turn Back Time | Oh Christ I did! If only I could turn back time…. |
| 3 | Curiosity Killed The Cat | Name And Number | Nope |
| 4 | Billy Joel | We Didn’t Start The Fire | No but I bought another single from his album Stormfront which had it as an additional track |
| 5 | Sonia | Can’t Forget You | I can and I did – no |
| 6 | Living In A Box | Room In Your Heart | Negative |
| 7 | Belinda Carlisle | Leave A Light On | Another no |
| 8 | Milli Vanilli | Girl I’m Gonna Miss You | Huge no |
| 9 | Bros | Chocolate Box | And no |
| 10 | Black Box | Ride On Time | I didn’t |
| 11 | S’Express | Mantra For A State Of Mind | One last no |
Disclaimer
I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).
All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.
Whole Show
Since we’ve all been on lockdown, there are people out there with time on their hands some of whom have recorded the whole TOTP show from the BBC4 repeat and made it available on YouTube. So if you did want to watch the whole thing over…
Some bed time reading?
http://likepunkneverhappened.blogspot.com/2019/10/october-4-17-1989.html
TOTP Rewind - the 80s 