Ooh check out the map graphics on that! Yes, this week’s TOTP is still banging on about its roll out programme of its new FM radio transmitters and presenters Simon Mayo and Andy Crane have to show us the latest regions to be switched on courtesy of a map with some very basic graphics. Still, it was probably all very cutting edge at the time.
Talking of radio here’s a radio themed song by Tiffany. How many singles from her is this now?
*checks wikipedia*
It’s her fourth (fourth!). One in the eye then for those people who have her down as a one hit wonder. In all fairness though, in a parallel universe of justice and equity, “Radio Romance” would never have been a hit. It’s not just that it’s sub standard sugary pop nausea that wouldn’t have been out of place in a High School Musical film; it’s that it’s so cynical. As the lead single from second album “Hold an Old Friend’s Hand”, the lack of regard shown by the record label for her fan base is clear. The record buying public had already shown that it would accept any old tripe Tiffany flung at us (including one of the worst Beatles covers ever) so why not just serve them up some more totally anonymous bullshit? In an unlikely turn of events the US saw threw this before we did – “Radio Romance” only made No 35 over there whilst we bought enough copies to send it to No 13. However, we did belatedly cotton on – it would be Tiffany’s last ever UK hit.
A third Top 10 hit of the year for Bomb The Bass next. “Say A Little Prayer” would also be Tim Simenon’s last hit of the decade. You don’t need me to tell you the origins of the song (Bacharach and David, Dionne Warwick, Arteha Franklin etc). However, why did Simenon change the title to “Say A Little Prayer” as opposed to “I Say A Little Prayer” and who the devil was this Maureen? In a Smash Hits interview, he explained his choice of covering the song like this:
“…I’ve always liked it and I wanted to do it because it’s something I remember from my childhood. I’ve done it really differently though. I think if you do a cover version then you have to do it really different or else it’s just a rip off of the original. I’ve given it more of a Bomb The Bass dance beat – hip hop I suppose but kept the vocals really smooth and er…sexy heh!”
Did he do it really different? Well, he’s right about the Bomb The Bass dance beat I guess but is it a radical contrast to the Franklin / Warwick versions? Not for me. Doing a cover version three singles in seems a bit lazy as well (see also the aforementioned Tiffany). The concept of adding a dance backing track to an established standard didn’t go away. I’m sure there are lots of examples of it but the only two that spring to mind right now are Carol King’s “It’s Too Late ” by Quartz featuring Dina Carroll in 1991 and the Fresh 4 featuring Lizz E’s treatment of the Rose Royce track “Wishing On A Star” in 1989.
And Maureen? That would be Maureen Walsh who Simenon knew from his DJ slots at The Wag club in London. She went on to record an album in the early 90s but the only time she got anywhere near the charts again was a No 93 placing for her “Don’t Hold Back” single.
Deacon Blue again now with “Real Gone Kid” which I think is a third outing on the show for this one. Its TV exposure was backed up by extensive radio play (certainly on the radio stations I was listening to) which has probably resulted in it being the band’s best known tune. It would be the start of a run of fifteen Top 40 hits for the band out of sixteen single releases over the next six years (although only three of them, including “Real Gone Kid”, would go Top 10).
All of this chart action came off the back of a very slow start. Their first three single releases did nothing at all. However, word about their debut album “Raintown” began to grow and with two of those three early singles re-released and becoming genuine (if small) Top 40 hits, the band suddenly had a national profile. To date, “Raintown” has sold around a million copies and remained in the UK charts for a year and a half. By the time there was new material to be released in the form of “Real Gone Kid” as the lead single from second album “When The World Knows Your Name”, there was a genuine appetite for the band. The album went to No 1 and was the host of five Top 40 singles. Deacon Blue were big news and I was on board for the journey.
After last week’s sojourn, the Breakers are back and start with yet another release from Michael Jackson‘s “Bad” album. “Smooth Criminal” was the seventh single taken from it and although it was well down the queue of better chart performing “Bad” tracks , it remains one of his most well known songs. Perhaps that’s to do with the video which includes the famous ‘anti – gravity lean’ move which took moonwalking to the next level. Talking of moonwalking, “Smooth Criminal” was the 42 minute centre piece of his Moonwalker film that was released just weeks before this. I’ve never seen it (and I’m pretty sure I will never correct that) but Wikipedia tells me it was an ‘experimental musical anthology film’ (whatever that is) but it was basically a load of promo videos for songs from the “Bad” album.
The Smash Hits review of “Smooth Criminal” asked the question:
“Is it bad (i.e. bad) or is it bad (i.e. good)?”
I went for the former. It was just a bit too ridiculous for my tastes and there was just too much going on it. I was exhausted by the time the song had finished. I could have done with some of the CPR that apparently was the inspiration behind the “Annie, are you OK?” line in the chorus. For years I’d wondered who the fuck this Annie was but it turns out she was Resusci Annie, the dummy used in CPR training and she was definitely nothing to do with this scare-the-shit-out-of-you final scene from Twin Peaks…
One of the Pet Shop Boys finest ever songs in my opinion next. “Left To My Own Devices’ was the second single from their third album “Introspective” (well third single if you count the house remix of “Always On My Mind/ In My House”) and is a magnificent, overblown, grandiose epic of a tune. The orchestra backing establishes the scope of the recording whilst the violin flourishes at the start set the tone and those at the denouement convince the audience that we have truly heard something exceptional. Neil Tennant’s deadpan delivery never sounded so perfect when in truth they shouldn’t. And then of course there is that line ‘Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat’. The whole thing is ludicrous and shouldn’t make an sense but it is, as Smash Hits described it in their Single of the Fortnight review, ‘pop perfection’. This should have topped the charts over the festive season as they had done the previous year – the missing 1980s Xmas No 1 that never was.
From the sublime to the ridiculous….from pop perfection we move onto some heavy metal old toss. Iron Maiden’s fan base allowed the band to keep on having hit after hit throughout the decade with “The Clairvoyant” being their 17th Top 40 hit of the 80s and their third Top Tenner in a row. As with the previous two singles, it was taken from the “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son” album. Another similarity is that it’s complete tosh just like its predecessors. Apparently about the death of psychic Doris Stokes, it came from the mind of the band’s Steve Harris who posed the question ‘if she were truly able to see the future, would not she had foreseen her own death?’. One of the world’s foremost philosophers Steve Harris there ladies and gentlemen. The song’s lyrics include mind blowing food for thought such as:
‘There’s a time to live and a time to die
When it’s time to meet the maker
There’s a time to live but isn’t it strange
That as soon as you’re born you’re dying’
Thinker? Stinker more like! What a load of old shit.
A really odd intro from Simon Mayo next as he refers to both The Supremes and Bananarama as being the biggest ‘woman’s band in the world’. Woman’s band you say Simon? Not ‘girl group’? Surely ‘girl group’ was the established term even back then? Can you say ‘girl group’ in today’s PC world though? You can say ‘boy band’ still can’t you? Oh I don’t know anymore.
Anyway, Sara, Keren and newbie Jacquie O’Sullivan’s cover version of The Supremes classic “Nathan Jones” was their third hit of 1988. As with previous release “Love, Truth And Honesty”, it was lifted from their first “Greatest Hits Collection” album but had also appeared on their “Wow” album featuring former member Siobhan Fahey’s vocals. The single version was re-recorded to with Jacquie’s vocals (as they had done with “I Want You Back”).
It’s all fairly lacklustre and lifeless I have to say and not a patch on some of their earlier singles that seemed so much more…well…fun I guess. It all seemed a bit too calculated and contrived as if it has been pre-tested against some sort of commercial success barometer. That’s what having Stock, Aitken and Waterman as your producer did for you I guess.
And who was Nathan Jones? Well, if you google him the top result tells you he was Stoke City’s manager until 1st November this year when he was sacked. Or he could be an Australian powerlifting champion and former professional wrestler. Or is it me? My housemate Ian started calling me Nathaniel briefly around this time on the back of this single. Why? Because Nathan is short for Nathaniel and Nathaniel sounds like Daniel and my nickname at the time was Dan due to my similarity looks wise to the actor Dan Ackroyd. It didn’t make any sense to me at the time and it still doesn’t 31 years later.
“Nathan Jones” peaked at No 15.
One of the most boring videos ever committed to celluloid now. The promo for “Missing You” by Chris De Burgh is just awful. It’s just Chris and his deeply uncool backing band performing the song intercut with some short clips of a young woman…doing what exactly? Well she rides a bike, mopes about a bit, has some breakfast, writes a shopping list, goes to the beach, gives some creepy bloke the brush off in a cafe then goes to bed. What?! What was meant to be going on here? It’s all so random. Oh, is she meant to be missing someone? Is that who she gets the letter off? Is that all there is to it? What a load of old crap.
Simon Mayo’s remark at the end of the video hasn’t aged well:
“At No 3 it’s Chris De Burgh and he’s missing you because he’s a nice person”.
Clearly this was before the news broke that De Burgh had an affair with his children’s 19-year-old nanny while his wife was recuperating in hospital from a broken neck suffered during a horse-riding accident. Yeah, top bloke Simon.
Top 10:
10. Kylie Minogue – “Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi”
9. Brother Beyond – “He Ain’t No Competition”
8. Deacon Blue – “Real Gone Kid”
7. Pet Shop Boys – “Left To My Own Devices”
6. Iron Maiden – “The Clairvoyant”
5. Yazz – “Stand Up For Your Love Rights”
4. Salt ‘N’ Pepa – “Twist And Shout”
3. Chris De Burgh – “Missing You”
2. INXS – “Need You Tonight”
1. Robin Beck – “First Time”: Still performing live and releasing music to this day, Robin supported Nik Kershaw on a mini tour of Germany last year. It seems an odd bill to be honest and I don’t mean to be unkind but I’m guessing that the reaction to her set went something like this:
Sorry Robin!
The play out video is Hithouse with “Jack To The Sound Of The Underground” and no that isn’t Paul Calf but some bloke called Peter Slaghuis and he was a Dutch DJ, producer and remixer. He remixed artists such as Madonna and Nu Shooz during the 80s and also a track we’ll be seeing very soon on a future TOTP repeat – “Downtown ’88” by Petula Clark. “Jack To The Sound Of The Underground” just sounds like a disgraceful cash-in on the house music phenomenon to me although it did contain the very first sample of a Kelly Charles track that might sound familiar – the ‘You’re No Good For Me’ line was also used by the Prodigy on “No Good (Start The Dance)”. Oh and you may also remember the track from this as well. Here’s @TOTPFacts:
Peter Slaghuis would die in a car accident just three years on from this.
| Order of appearance | Artist | Song | Did I Buy it? |
|
1 |
Tiffany | Radio Romance | Yuck! No thank you! |
|
2 |
Bomb The Bass featuring Maureen | Say A Little Prayer | Nah |
|
3 |
Deacon Blue | Real Gone Kid | Not the single but I had the album on cassette |
|
4 |
Michael Jackson | Smooth Criminal | Nope |
|
5 |
Pet Shop Boys | Left Top My Own Devices | Not the single but it’s on my Pop Art collection CD of theirs |
|
6 |
Iron Maiden | The Clairvoyant | Let me look into my crystal ball – NO! |
|
7 |
Bananarama | Nathan Jones | No |
|
8 |
Chris De Burgh | Missing You | Missing you? Are you shitting me? NO |
|
9 |
Robin Beck | First Time | And the last time – no |
|
10 |
Hithouse | Jack To The Sound Of The Underground | Hithouse? Shithouse more like (oh come on – it had to be done!) No. |
Disclaimer
OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000bpk9/top-of-the-pops-24111988
I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).
All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.
Some bed time reading?
http://likepunkneverhappened.blogspot.com/2018/11/november-16-29-1988.html
TOTP Rewind - the 80s 